Good Times

You may look at this post and think - "So retro! I'm going to Netflix this!"

I'm here to tell you that YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT!

Do not look at all the colorful costumes / things you wish you could find in a Etsy vintage shop and be seduced into watching Good Times (starring Sonny & Cher). 

This is a total I-watched-it-so-you-don't-have-to situation. Enjoy my screencaps, but don't feel compelled to watch it on your own.

It's bad. I mean, there are some great costumes and all, so I don't totally regret viewing it (especially since I was multi-tasking and watching it while scanning books for my shop) but it was so much worse than I was expecting it to be.

It's painful. As painful as a scissor in the eye when you're trying to clip your bangs.

I'm not exaggerating. While I was watching the movie, the following things were shouted at me -

"Mal - what the hell are you watching?"

"TURN IT OFF!"

"IS IT OVER YET?!?!"

Once I started watching the movie, I realized that I'd never really seen Sonny in motion. I'd only seen him in pictures and heard him singing "I've Got You Babe".

As it turns out, that was for the best.

I know it's not kind to speak ill of the dead, but I don't think someone has ever annoyed me more as an actor. Although it's insulting to other actors to call what he was doing acting. But. I wanted to strangle him. STRANGLE HIM. THROTTLE HIM. TRIM HIS BANGS FOR HIM AND THEN MAKE HIM EAT THE HAIR. That still would not be a punishment to fit the crime! The crime that is his performance in this movie!

Cher in her bid to win the "most awkward dancing of all time" award (her moves will eventually improve a bit).

In my What a Way to Go post, I mentioned how much I loved the movie spoofs. Good Times features movie spoofs as well......

......these ones I didn't enjoy in the slightest. 

This does NOT look like a house that Cher would live in. Everything is INSANELY colorful, then BOOM! Concrete bunker.

BITE HIM, DOG! BITE HIM!

(The dog doesn't bite him, but he does refuse to sample the food.)

BITE HIM, CHER! BITE HIM! Ha. Seriously though, he's the worst.

Cher dressed as a clown. Scarier than It? Not quite, but I still wouldn't want to run in to her in the dark.

(Side note - it's super late at night as I'm writing this, and when I went to get the It link I scared myself just from seeing the movie poster image on the wikipedia page. PENNYWISE! "WE ALL FLOAT!" I'm not going to be able to fall asleep now. I'm going to be looking for him in the shadows when I leave my bedroom to go brush my teeth in a minute. Oh the horror. Also - the guy who directed the newest version of Jane Eyre with Michael Fassbender is going to direct a new movie version of It. I'm so intrigued by that prospect.)

My reaction to most of the film.

Another accurate representation of how I reacted to most of the film.

I bet they're using one of their vomit-inducing terms of endearment right now. I'd give you an example, but in the few days since I've watched the movie my brain has done me a favor and erased them from memory.

I think this is the point where they sang the worst song in the movie - "Just A Name". If you want to torture yourself, you can watch it here.

I actually felt a bit bad for Sonny (in spite of my ever-growing hatred) when Cher sang the lyrics - "He's not even handsome, nor is he tall", but then he eventually belted out - "She's not so hot, I mean what's she got" - so I guess they're even.

The dog is my favorite character. That's not saying much.

This comment is an obvious one after all the prior complaining, but IIIIIIIIIIII needed a drink by this point in the movie.

Nice coat.

The end. 

THANKFULLY!

Want to look at another movie post? Go HERE!